you should probably take a look at this. (warning: semi-graphic details ahead)

This is a tough one to write.
I pride myself in being funny even when no one else thinks so. I try to write these blogs about serious things sometimes in an insensitive way to make awkward subjects more comfortable for those of you who want to laugh at such ridiculous parenting and ideals.
So my juggle in my mind is trying to be sensitive about this subject without being too serious and sounding depressed.
So here we go.

Around May 2012 Julien was 2 months from turning 2. The big 2! Hunter and I had discussed even before getting married how many kids we wanted to have, how far apart we 'wanted' them to be and started on our 'family planning' ideas.
So. by this time I was already hoping to have a little babe in the cooker or at least nearing the end of said cooking time.
Unfortunately this was not the case. I know we are both functioning and able to produce as my dad would say 'juicy fruit" (aka children/blessings/fruit from our tree..lol). But it wasn't happening.
As many christians would say "it wasn't God's timing"..which I whole heartedly believed.

Little did we know 6 months later we would be packing up everything we owned and planning the move of a lifetime to Park City Utah. When the decision was made to move it all made sense. It would've been an even bigger pain in the butt to move across country with a tiny new born or being 8 months pregnant right? SO Okay..God had a plan...it wasn't God's timing!

We arrived in beautiful, cold, snowy Park City (another thing a snow newbie wouldn't want to deal with, with a newborn or being pregnant)!
We then put a 'fleece' if you will before the Lord basically saying if we aren't pregnant by the end of the summer we'll look into adoption, which is something we want to do anyways.
So June came...and went. We started really asking the Lord for a lil babe in the cooker and it wasn't happening. My brother and sister came to visit and everyone prayed over me that this would happen..sooner than later.
Well.. 3 weeks later the stick said yes.

You can imagine the joy that filled the family and treehouse, another little babe would add to the chaotic fun.
So trusting in my body to do the good deed we announced it and were over joyed. God had seriously answered prayers and we were pregnant before the end of summer!
The planning began! We would need to move to a house for more room, we needed to find a midwife that would come up the mountain, we needed to see a midwife/dr asap to make sure everything was workin. And it was! The midwife/dr i found was incredible but didn't travel up the mountain :(. She soon became my best and only friend in Utah.

Warning..details ahead!

9 days after the confirmation of pregnancy from said Midwife, I woke up with horrible pain.. Because this isn't a widely open conversation on most blogs i've read..lets get real with each other. Worst than your worst heavy period..that was what was happening to me. So up at 6am I called said Midwife who is the sweetest lady ever known and she had me come in immediately. Which meant in my family and having to travel down the mountain to see her we didn't get there until 11. I called a friend to watch Julien and we rushed down. Stopping twice to use the restroom I knew this was bad. I had passed the baby about 4 1/2 hours into this horrible day.
Unfortunately though I had the feeling this had happened..signs weren't so clear to the midwife, I had to get blood work done and we wouldn't know the final answer til 48 hours later.
The WORST 48 hours of my life. Pain..and other things.. worry and sadness. The worst part is just not knowing what was wrong. should i have hope, should i be sad, should i be happy, should i crawl in a hole and never talk to anyone again?

The results came in and though I was incredibly sad that this had happened I was also relieved. NOT that I lost the sweetest most important thing in life (a child) but that I could stop worrying and I know God knows whats up.
He knows what he's doing, he knew that baby better than I did. And I could cry for a couple more hours, get up out of my dirty pajamas that I wore for 48 hours, and walk in the understand that He knows better than me.
He knows where i'm going, what i'm doing and when the perfect time will be for me.

So announcement made. Baby center updates deleted and another blog for you to read...
8 things not to say to a woman who miscarried

Thursdays Thoughts and Rants

I skipped Wednesday to give you guys a break.

First of all my Silver King Coffee girl quit. Therefore I'm paying full price for a cup of milk and the girl that now 'serves me' at the window doesn't know me. Ugh! Good thing it's the original girl who Sarahjane and I thought was named April.. Close but no cigar. Her name is Alexa. She got a new tattoo.

Speaking of Tattoos..i would still like to finish mine to get a new one.
How do people have time and money to constantly be getting tatted Alyssa Hickman, Trevor Michael..I'm confused and jealous.

I can't comment on whats going on in the news lately DOMA, Abortion etc. It's too heavy and I'm sure I would get backlash for my beliefs on either subject. So instead i'm just going to say "Goodnight and Goodluck America" It's all in your hands.

I feel like Moses and I are best friends, I've been studying and making lessons on this guy for the last 5 months. Todays lesson = Moses dies.
It's been real bud.

That moment you regret accepting a friend request or liking a page..get off my newsfeed!

That other moment when you accidentally sync your phone with your facebook contacts..I don't need your number..but i have it. beware of spam.

I get that you need a job and all..but maybe you should do some SERIOUS, EXTENSIVE research on the day care you are sending your children to before you get trapped and you're spending $500 a month on the pledge of allegiance, forced nap time, bad lunch and listening to secular hip hop during playtime.

It's been a good 6 weeks since I've had a bagel...TAKE THAT UTAH!

Have I mentioned how things start considerably earlier here?
I used to drive into work (in dallas) around 7:30 and catch the first half of the Kidd Kraddick show..The only radio station I get here must start at 5am..it's 7:30 and i've missed the funniest parts! #Mountainlife


Speaking of Mountain Life..Nothing like waking up your entire building on a Wednesday night because your water heater is leaking scalding water into the parking garage. 10:30pm maintenance knocks on our door (i didn't even know we had that kind of service!) we waved them past because we certainly weren't leaking water. 10 minutes later maintenance AND our nice neighbor lady from upstairs knocks 'Please check your water heater! There is burning water pouring into the garage!" we check..sure enough it's us. Maintenance comes in, our weird neighbor guys from vermont come into the hallway..we're all in our pajamas, awkward. We've never exchanged anything but a smile in passing and now they're seeing me...in my pajamas..at night.
Our hot water heater is broken and needs to be replaced. yay.. We rent so it's no big deal...but I could've been spared the awkwardness.

My Monday Blues and Thoughts

I know this is seriously off track but here are a 'few' things on my mind this Monday Morning...
(Please beware these are definitely first world problems and I am no way seriously complaining about these things)


My pug has lost her mind, peed in my bed and is now gagging herself on a stuffed elmo toy that we gave up on trying to rescue

I hate that scene in the Amazing SpiderMan when Andrew Garfield is breathing heavily into Emma Stones face while he's sweaty and beat up...you know that doesn't smell good..

I love me some French Press coffee, but making a whole pot of it..by myself..makes me a hyped up caffeinated mama..I need someone to come drink half of this thing.
On top of that, I regret getting rid of my normal coffee cups. As much as I love how these 'vintage tea cups look' they're kind of a pain when you have to refill every other second.

Who decided to build condos in the middle of Heber City and Park City where we can't get any cable or internet?!?!..fml

OK! Who decided it was okay to post pictures of your ailments on facebook? Aint nobody wanna see your bloody knee, eye, messed up feet, broken...anything!

I had a dream I hung out with Cesar Milan on the streets of Africa eating Ice Cream...I think I need to train my dog.

Missing Texas stuff. Joy Luck, Cheap Movies, Friends, Beauty Bar, Downtown Dallas, Black People....just sayin

I don't support Kanye and Kim's decision to name their child something ridiculous..but being a child with a strange name..I feel for them. They're just trying to be original in the sea of celebrity baby names. It's hard to meet the standards of Apple, Jermajesty, Lourdes...etc.
And speaking of names..i know some normal people out there that have no excuse to name their kids weird names.

Twinkie coming back..it's like when you throw a going away party for someone and then a week later they're like '...uh i'm not leaving anymore' what?!?! Waste of time! (Joy Eastman..remember that?! love you!)

I need to finish all my tattoos..so I can get a new one. (hint, hint)

Sarah Thomas, Serah Rudolph, Erin Favella, Julie Hopkins...you all make me want to have another baby...TOMORROW. Stop having cute kids.

My Favorite part of The Amazing SpiderMan...Spiderman launching himself up the side of a building. I want to do that!

I need a haircut.

.....time for more coffee.

Will you be my friend?

Living in a new state with a completely different culture can be difficult.
After living 18 years in the southern hospitality hub and everyone being extremely friendly....it can be difficult.
Being 23 with a toddler and no social outlet such as a job with other young people or daycare or sports or anything...can be difficult.

I read a blog by Motherlode about mommy dating.
  Was this my new life?
  Was I going to have to enter the dating pool of moms?

Lets keep in mind this isn't Dallas, they aren't extremely friendly and they have one thing in common...they like to excersize and be outside. I come from the land down south where it's too hot to be outside and so you make up indoor activities.. working out is for people who have time and money.

I have neither of those things.


I've gone to parks and smiled at every passing mom hoping one of them would strike a conversation.

But unfortunately..I'm noticing i'm not 6 years old anymore, I can't walk up and say 'wanna be my friend?!" because that's weird.. and you can't just be friends with just 'anyone' right? Because now that we're adults we have to actually have things in common! I don't know if having a child the same age is in 'common' enough.

So the nerd that I am..I turned to the internet.

Meetup.com is my new best friend. (i know it's lame)

I have joined 3 meetup groups. At first I was solely focused on 'moms' because then I could take Julien with me everywhere since..you know.. I do that.
But then I thought 'Moms are weird and I don't want to be stuck with them as my only options and not have any friends for the rest of my life.' (I love you mamas)

So I have joined 2 that have nothing to do with moms and granted they're weird too. But i'm trying right?
I have yet to actually go to any of these Meetups..but....

I know I must sound crazy but my family has instilled this 'social, can't be alone for very long' characteristic in me and i'm just handling it the best way I can.


Stay tuned for my mommy date stories!

Not for the easily offended..

There comes a time when all the crap you read from your friends on facebook really starts to get to you. You so badly want to confront their ridiculous ideas and the fact that they try to force them on their 325 friends on Facebook.
So here is my rebuttal..


Dear people..I let my child watch TV. I know..I'm a horrible mother. I don't believe that his imagination is based solely on wether or not he watches a cartoon or not.
He loves Mickey mouse, Spongebob (oh my gosh) and Spider Man. I know watching tv turns your 'brain into mush' but my siblings and I were all TV heads when we were little...Attention: I do not have mush for a brain! It's amazing right? Because even though Julien watches these tv shows, when the tv is off he's jumping from couches to chairs to bean bags making spiderman noises. When we go to the park his imagination comes to life from the things he's watched on tv. So I honestly don't have a problem with it.

And yes I let my child jump on our furniture. I understand you may not want him jumping on your furniture and thats fine. That is where my parenting for boundaries comes in and  I think i'm doing a pretty good job.
I know so and so's kid broke an arm jumping off of something somewhere but why be afraid of life?! People also hurt themselves driving, falling out of bed, sitting in a chair..are you going to stop doing those things too?!


Now, here is the big one. I know I will get backlash for this.
Genesis 17:9-11 ⁹ Then God said to Abraham, “As for you, you must keep my covenant, you and your descendants after you for the generations to come. ¹⁰ This is my covenant with you and your descendants after you, the covenant you are to keep: Every male among you shall be circumcised. ¹¹ You are to undergo circumcision, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and you.

Now, if you're not a Christian and you have not made a heart covenant with the Lord to follow him, by all means do what you wanna do. 
For those who are Christians I understand that you might want to come back with a lot of scripture saying that it is not 'necessary' for us to do this anymore etc etc.
But I HIGHLY disagree, because as a christian we believe God is the same Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow therefore this detail of His requirements wouldn't have changed. 
It's not about humans not being able to 'clean themselves' or be 'happy' because my son who is circumcised IS happy and it's almost...offensive for you to say that he isn't because he has had a procedure. I understand your debate when it comes to 'letting people make their own decisions' etc. but I believe it is my job to raise up my child in the way that he should go, it is my duty until he is of age to make sure he is given to the Lord and is making that covenant with him. When he is older and i've done all that he can do he can make his decisions. 
For you to say my Child isn't happy, respected, healthy or secure is offensive. You wouldn't say any of those things to a child that had to undergo a c-section or any other type of surgery that might alter their mind or appearance. SO how dare you say something like that to a child whose parents decided to do a circumcision?! 
I understand that it is personal choice and if you choose to not do this for your child I will respect your decisions, so please..respect mine and stop judging me and every other mother out there who has decided on this publicly.

One more thing..  again for the christians.. STOP COMPROMISING! You're driving me nuts! Everytime you wave the trendy flag to support something that if you knew what it was really about you probably wouldn't really support it, it makes me want to delete you from my facebook, email list, cell phone and mind. 
It's not just for christians..i take that back it's for everyone. Be yourself, be who you are and stop compromising your personality, ideas, beliefs and way of life just because everyone else on Facebook, twitter, instagram and Tumblr are doing it! 


Ok i'm done. Hopefully all of you will stop writing such ridiculous stuff so I won't have to do this again! 

Moving up, moving forward and moving on

I lived in Texas for 18 years.
I found and lost 3 best friends.
I met my first boyfriend, my first love, who became my Husband.
I built a friendship with someone that lasted more than 12 years (and going strong).
I married.
I had my son.
I became who I am Today.

It had been 18 years since I had moved states.  I was 4 at the time and all I really remember about it was our going away/birthday party for Corin at a park (in LA) before moving, the fact that I got sick on the way and that I lost a roller skate.

This move was obviously different, I was moving my Husband and young child with me, the logistics of it were driving me crazy. Pack up the entire house until literally 4 hours before pulling out of Dallas, plus pack a suitcase with a months worth of clothes because who knows when we'll get our own homes.
45 minutes into the drive My Mom and I got lost..yes before we could even leave Dallas, we ended up in Denton vs. Decatur..easy mistake. :)

Ahead of us was a 3 day trip...1st get out of Texas and into New Mexico, then get out of New Mexico into Colorado, Colorado into Wyoming ultimately to drive through the wind into Utah.

Welcome to the snow covered hills and a whole family (church) waiting for us with banners saying "Welcome home Aguirre family' and ready to help us unload our trucks.
Such a nice warm welcoming party.
Unfortunately our unloading didn't work out as planned, our storage units were too small and it was Sunday we couldn't get a hold of anyone to change our units. So we had to wait a day..which was Presidents day so again the storage office was closed.
A family from the church came to our rescue with their 3 car garage and told us to store our stuff there. :)

Hunter, Julien and I hopped host homes for 3 weeks until we found the perfect 2 bed 2 bath Condo 6 minutes from our church that we attend twice a week and I work at 2-3 times a week. It was necessary to be so close :).
Just a week after we moved in and months of looking for a house for the rest of my family they found the ultimate house. 10 minutes south of me and 15 minutes south of the church, 5 bedrooms, 5,000 sq ft looking over the Heber Valley. BEAUTIFUL views from every window.

It's amazing what God can do with patience, willingness and faith.
Living in a new city is scary, lonely and 100% worth it.

It's a LOT harder to make friends when you're 23 vs. being 4. That whole 'Hi! Lets be friends!" thing..doesn't work anymore, having 1 thing in common doesn't work anymore either.
We're keeping ourselves busy for sure though!
Hunter is working in SLC at H&M and we are also over the Children's and Youth Ministry at the church, which is really fun and I'm having a blast coming up with lessons.
We also are regulars on the worship team, as well as working with Hospitality and the basic runnings of the church.
It's safe to say we're really thriving here, it's exciting to be using the gifts God has given us in practical ways.

Stay tuned for my passover blog which will hopefully come in a timely manner.

Raising a Boy.

First-- I am incredibly blessed to have a little boy, and he's everything I hope and prayed for.
Now.

Raising a boy.

When I found out I was pregnant I 'knew' I was having a girl. So much so that I put money on it! I was SURE that I was having a girl. I always wanted to have a boy first so that all of my children would have that older brother to look up to, to guide and protect them etc. But I just had this feeling...

So when we found out we were having a boy I was....THRILLED!

At the time I was a Nanny of 2 little boys so I thought I could handle it..I was prepared.

But, low and behold my child is the average boy I wasn't quite expecting. Though he takes after me in his taste of music, dance style and wild hair...there are some things in his personality I am a little shocked by.

For example his LOVE of sports (what?!) where did that come from? He can throw a ball and hit his target PERFECTLY from 15-20 feet away. (he's 2)
Left handed and right handed, he's a diamond in the ruff.
Now, I know nothing about sports so as soon as he hits the age to put him in soccer, tball or basketball I'll be learning right along side him. I honestly don't know the difference from a touch down, home run or whatever you get in basketball.

He is also extremely interested in lizards, frogs, snakes and the likes. I'm sure you all think this is completely normal for a little boy (which it is) it's just catching me off guard.
He LOVES animals which I am proud of, I've always loved the zoo too but he takes it to another level. I took him to the zoo last week and he's been talking about it non-stop. I mean he remembers the exact routes we took to see what animals (what!? who is this kid!?).

And don't get me started on the jumping, climbing you think he's about to break a leg jumping that high stuff he's into.  he jumps from couch to couch, off the beds, all while running and making sound effects with his mouth. (I love this kid!)

Another Julien trait....he hates mud. If it's raining outside he doesn't want to walk to the car because of the mud, and if I make him anyways because it's not muddy he has to check his shoes as soon as he gets in the car and wipe them off, (hah!) he gets that from his Auntie Xaundelle. 

Raising a boy is SO much fun! He is definitely not the boy I thought he would be but he is SO much more! I couldn't have imagined a better kid!