Why I'm not a feminist....feminist.

feminist

[fem-uh-nist]

1.

advocating social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men.

the real right to choose (pro-choice)

Every day I read a new article of some young, empowered, successful woman claiming to be a feminist.

Let me remind you the days that we live in. There is no war on women going on, there is no doubt that as a woman I have rights, rights to vote, rights to say no, rights to say yes. As women we have the choice to work, to stay home, to travel, to wander, to dream, to dream BIG, to be a CEO of the biggest dating site, makeup company, car manufacturer or to simply help other women through the journey that is birth.

To the women growing along side of me in my generation, what. are. you. fighting. for?

I had the pleasure of seeing Gina Davis speak at a small get together about her work, fighting for women in the film industry.
Her point didn't bash men, didn't degrade them therefore stooping to the level of anti-women mindsets. (which in case you didn't know...aren't ALL men). Instead she rises above her fellow celebrity 'feminists' and is a voice for women in the film industry. She helps especially with young television and big picture movies by showing them characters they have already created can be turned into female roles. Allowing a young female star to rise to fame, allowing gender to NOT be an issue.

Lena Dunham 'the voice of my generation', I support you sister, more power to you for slapping negative body image in the face, I commend you. Mainly for the adorable dresses you choose to wear on GIRLS. But as 'feminist' feminist as you are, I find it extremely degrading the amount of sexual activity you promote in your TV show. The women on your show are virtually useless unless it has to do with sex. Mind you, I am not up to date, I couldn't get passed the first season before I decided even watching the show I found myself degraded.

More power to women to be comfortable in their own skin, but why does the comfort with my own skin have to mean giving it away like a cow being milked at Borden Dairy. Herded down New York City streets just to catch the eye of the cute barista who you later end up in bed with.
 Lena Dunham isn't this the complete opposite of how we want our young girls to feel?

I want my daughter to feel empowered, confident and secure in her own body, not to the point of selling it for a kiss. She will be empowered to walk by that cute boy and not look back, because she is precious, she is preserved and saved for someone SO much better. For that someone who will treat her better than any woman who has the right to choose so she chose to give it away. She will be protected, treasured and kept hidden like the most expensive jewel that she is.
Don't we want our young girls to be empowered to say NO, to protect herself and make the men in her life LISTEN to her and not just look at her like a piece of meat?

I am not a feminist....feminist.
I believe we have the right to vote, to speak up and be opinionated. I have the right to decide how I walk down the street and the men around me do not have the right to cat call me.
And at the same time, if you choose to not have a career, or be opinionated or speak up that's ok.
 It's not wrong for me to CHOOSE to stay home and take care of my children, to prefer the kitchen over a desk, to prefer the sweet smiles, giggles and kisses of my children over the whistles, howls and calls of perverted men on the street.

It's OK to choose my place at home, in the kitchen, with my children.
It's OK for you to choose a career, but don't for the love of women and feminism everywhere do NOT stoop down to the level of anti women by degrading yourself first so that you're not hurt by them or giving your body away so that no one else can take it.

I don't let my kids celebrate halloween.. and you should be ok with it.

As a Mother most of us have instincts to protect, care and comfort our children.
We hold them as they cry, we kiss their booboos, we protect what they hear, see and say.

So why.on.earth. would I encourage my children to be scared?!??
 To wear scary costumes, watch scary movies, ask people in scary costumes for candy, embrace ghosts, witches and scary spiders.
Why on earth would I decide that this ONE day is the day to throw our morality to the wind and allow the encouragement of 'scary' things into our homes, our minds, our hearts.

I would be working 364 days to protect my child from these things, but allow it for one day??
 What kind of confusion am I bringing upon my small children.

It is shocking to me how many christians or people who 'claim' to be christians celebrate this day with their children. No matter how many years since this holiday was 'originated' in evil..that doesn't change. Just because you think you've 'justified' it, just because you don't do the bad things they did, doesn't change what it stands for.
Halloween, Day of the dead, All hallows eve. Is clearly, factually and historically a day to 'celebrate' the dead.
Why on earth would I encourage my child to celebrate the dead, which would directly go against everything I work towards as a mother and believe.  'Raising my child up in the way that they should go'. Allowing this one day to slip through the cracks no matter how minor, is allowing our children to think we aren't that serious, because we allow the celebration of the dead just this once.

By the time they're 18 and making their own decisions on what they believe, they will remember the 18 times they celebrated the dead, the '18 times my parents allowed evil, scary things come into my mind, and my home.', the 18 times we didn't protect them against these things, the 18 times we willingly allowed the enemy to break down our doors and take advantage of our children.

I plan on being a mother 365 days a year, every day I will protect my children from scary things, every day I will strive to raise my children up in the way that they should go, every day I will hold them, comfort them and kiss their booboos.

What are my kids really missing out on?

There is nothing done on this holiday that you can't do any other day. Instead of asking scary strangers for candy, go to the store yourself, if it's the costumes? You can wear costumes any day!

Tikvah Marie Nelson

I've been wondering how I would put this blog into words without sounding horrible.
So...Excuse me as I type out my thoughts and if you get mad, feel free to unfollow.


When we found out I was pregnant, I was roughly 5-6 weeks along and at 7-8 weeks we lost the baby.
 As I've said before there isn't a ton of information you can find online about this, they try their best to be P.C about it so the poor woman actually going through it and googling frantically for symptoms can't accurately tell if she's having a miscarriage without going to the Dr.
Dr's scamming Americans since day 1.


This was obviously heartbreaking, scary and confusing.  The frustrating lack of information was eating away at me, the confusion as to why this happened to me and the sadness that went along with it.
I'm the kind of person that wants to know why, how, why, when, and...WHY this happens to people.
That information is unfortunately 'non-exsistent'.
It was harder for me than I let on, I avoided talking about it and dealing with it.
The 'coping' methods that are offered are 'writing a letter to your lost baby', 'naming your lost baby', 'lighting a candle for your lost baby', etc etc.
The emotional pain of losing a baby you had hoped and prayed for, for over a year isn't going to be solved by any of the things listed above. As a mother I became instantly attached to the growing life inside of me, but I didn't know this baby and I know this baby can't read any letter I write, or see any candle that was lit for them. This baby is happily, safely in the arms of someone greater than me. And none of these things would reassure this 'lost baby' or help me.

After a rough 3 months, we found out I was pregnant again. Obviously we were happy and even tho we were overjoyed, I couldn't help but have fear in my mind regarding the outcome of this pregnancy.
After weeks of blood tests and ultrasounds it was confirmed this babe was the one we were waiting for.

Almost immediately after confirming the pregnancy being the one, the prophetic and confirming words were being spoken over her.
The joy and delight of this little baby coming earthside was so exciting to anticipate, so preparation began to make room for this little babe.
We chose the name Tikvah meaning Hope in Hebrew, mainly because we liked it. But throughout the pregnancy we started to see real meaning behind her name.
She is bringing Hope to the hopeless, Hope for the bitterness, Hope for her generation.

She was born August 1st at 10:29am, after 7 hours of being in labor, she was delivered at home in a birth tub with little to no assistance. It was perfect, almost painless, easy, relaxing homebirth.

Tikvah Marie Nelson 8/01/14 7lb 3oz 19in